I can remember it as it were yesterday,  but it was actually August 11, 1969. I was only eleven years old when I was awakened in the middle of the night with lots of people talking in our home, and they looked so upset and concern upon their faces. I learned the problem was how would anyone tell me that my Dad who was only forty-years old had died of a major heart attack just an hour earlier.

I thought I was dreaming and tried to wake myself up, but realized I was not asleep.   I locked myself in the bathroom, sat on the floor and could only do one thing…cry. I ignored the knocks on the door and the begging to open the door.  I just sat on the floor trying to wake up from this nightmare.

I did not understand what had happened, and I certainly didn’t see the life ahead of me coming. The abandonment feelings, the teen years where a young boy definitely needs a father around to give him guidance, direction and especially correction. There was none of that when I needed it most, and I found myself walking in circles in my mind to figure out “what life was really all about.” My mother tried hard to stay on top of things, but had to work a lot to keep the money coming in because there was not much insurance money to assist her. My two older brothers were adjusting themselves and dealing with this loss in their own way.  We were definitely not a family that communicated “true feelings.”

Although I went to church, I was never taught about depressed feelings or how the enemy could oppress you into feeling hopeless. I submersed myself into learning to play drums and became part of a garage band. I found myself suppressing my feelings of hurt even more and I hid them well. As I look back now over those events, I realize that men seem to carry traits into their adulthood, unless they truly allow the Lord to help bring them through it. However, that sometimes it is a very long process of change.

I thought about quitting high school, as I wanted to help my mother.   Thankful that is one thing she would not allow me to do, so I pressed on through it. I did marry as a young adult and we had a daughter. However, the marriage ended after three years. Throughout that process, I remembered what it was like growing up without Dad, so not even once did it ever cross my mind that I would not help raise my daughter. I ask the Lord for help and guidance and He brought us through it together.

I remember several years ago that my thoughts had drifted back to the earlier years of my life and growing up without Dad. A large number of those thoughts were not pleasant as my Dad was an alcoholic and our home was not always the best of times when I was young. It was on that day that the Lord reminded me that as He forgives us, we must forgive as well.

I searched my heart many times…  thinking do I have ill will towards someone but I couldn’t find anyone.  Then it hit me ,,,, it was my Dad I needed to forgive. You see, I did not realize that I had suppressed feelings deep down towards Dad and believe it or not, God as well.    As I searched deeper, it appeared as though I was mad at Dad because of the lifestyle he had chosen was probably the cause of his early death .

You mean, I was mad at God? Apparently so, because does not He hold the key to life and death? Could not He have allowed my Dad to live? That was my thinking anyhow. The Lord is not upset with us for being mad at Him,  but I believe He is hurt by it. Afterall, we are His children and He is the Father and no father really wants to have their children upset with them.

Forgiveness is powerful and we must all practice it regularly. If not, it can lead to bitterness and Webster’s Dictionary defines bitterness as distasteful or distressing.

Through that healing time over my Dad, God reminded me what a difference that one day can make. It was Saturday, August 9, 1969 and the Methodist preacher walked by our house. He saw my father in the yard and called out to him. They talked for a few minutes by the fence and although I am not sure what the preacher said to him, I remember seeing my Dad bow his head and they prayed for a few minutes. My Dad walked back to house and said to my mother, tomorrow I want us to go to church as a family. Of course, that didn’t happen because he was sick and remained sick all day. In 1969, education about heart attacks is not like it is today and apparently Dad had been having one most all day long. It was in the early hours of the morning that he would succumb to that illness.

What a difference a day makes day Dad? I believe the Lord sent that preacher by our house that morning and I believe it was my Dads last chance to make things right and he did and because he did I will see him again in heaven.

What about you? Is there un-forgiveness buried in you against someone? Maybe it is your Dad who may be already passed away. Maybe a talk with God can help you clear it all up and give you peace again. Maybe you should write a letter to your father, read it aloud and then burn it. If your father is still alive, by all means make it right while they are still here.

When I think of forgiveness, I can’t help but think of the story of Joyce Meyer, an international preacher and encourager who was sexually abused by her father when she was a child.  It took years for the healing process to take place but over time, God orchestrated all parties to be healed and she even helped him in his elder years.

If God can do that for Joyce, He can heal your situation.

As I close, just remember that life is truly short. Even the Bible speaks of it in James.

“For what is your life?  It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”  ~ James 4:14

Let this be the best Father’s day ever. If you need to forgive someone, maybe your own father, just do it.  It will make your Father’s Day even brighter. If your kids are home, love them. Don’t think of the presents or whether there is one or not. Think of LIFE and being alive to enjoy them on that day. If your little one brings you a gift that may  be just a certificate they made that says “free hugs” then by all means, use it and see if they will let you use it and see if it is renewable…daily? Whatever, the gift is, remember Dad, it is the best gift ever.

Remember what a difference a day makes and whatever you do today, tell you children you love them because they need to hear it from someone Dad.

May God Bless you on this Father’s Day 2009.

Keith M. Jowers, Founder

Dads 4 Life, Inc.